This is probably the most tricky of all! Most of us adore our families, in fact I am always suspect of anyone who does not. Unfortunately, we may view our own families with rose colored glasses ….and sometimes even blinders! I have been blessed with three incredible brothers, a wonderful mother and stepfather, an amazing daughter, granddaughter and son in law, numerous cousins, nieces, nephews…need I say more. These people are a part of me, I cannot escape even if I wanted to. And, just in case I did not make this clear, I do not want to ever let go of them!!!
Unfortunately, my family is not normal, my younger brother begs me to show just one example of a family that is not dysfunctional! We are often loud, obnoxious and tease each other mercilessly. We argue, hug, call, taunt and remain in constant contact. We all tend to think we are much wittier than we actually are, but we understand our humor. I cannot imagine who I would be without the love and support of my family. But let’s face it, we do not always share this love of our family with our partner. Our partner may not understand, be threatened or not feel the “love”.
I have had issues in the past with blending of families. This is a common problem in all relationships. In prior relationships, I thought that by forcing the issue we could somehow bridge the gap to tolerance at best.
Communication is definitely the key, set your boundaries. If your partner does have a problem with a family member(s), discuss it before it becomes a deal breaker in your relationship. Do not expect your partner to have the same feelings as you have, your feelings have taken a lifetime to develop.