Everyone has a history of past relationships and issues they have confronted in their lives. How and when you choose to share this information with your partner should be considered. Timing, volume, and frequency with which you share this information is important.
We are all curious to learn about this new person in our life and welcome the chance to learn more about each other. On the other hand, too much information or relentless discussion on this topic can have a negative effect.
Of course discussion of past relationships is influenced by many factors. How significantly did this past history shape the person you are today? Are there ongoing ramifications of this past relationship that you are still dealing with? How do you hope or expect the person receiving this information to react to what you are sharing? Answers to these questions should influence how and when you share your past.
Sometimes it is your date that can be too aggressive with the interrogation of your personal history. It is normal to be curious, but too much too soon is not necessarily best. There is also a downside to withholding information as well, because it may be assumed that you are hiding something and it may cause other issues.
Balance is the key. Make conscious decisions to share. Having an “open book” relationship should be the goal. It is also important to consider the impact of sharing positive aspects of past relationships. It is natural for people hearing about your past lover to compare themself and may develop feelings of inadequacy. When you talk about how financially successful your ex was or how great a cook they were or how great in bed they were you may make your current date feel imperfect.
Just be sensitive to the impact the information you share may have and commit to move forward in your current relationship unburdened by your past.