Many people are afraid to actually have limits or boundaries as to what you will or will not put up with. If you do not have any, to me it means that you will pretty much put up with anything.
For me, I’ve decided to write down the ones that are non-negotiable:
1) I will not date anyone who is married or has a partner or even someone who is separated that does not have an actual official divorce date. I won’t wait around for someone who is trying to figure out what they want or does not want.
2) I will not go back to someone who has ended a relationship with me. I don’t want to be a backup or second to anyone waiting for them to decide if they want a relationship with me. I won’t put my life on hold. Self-respect is crucial.
3) I want to be in an equal relationship. One that one person doesn’t control what you do, but you decide together. I feel you need to be in a give and take relationship. I want to be treated with love, care, respect and trust is extremely important. You don’t want to find yourself wondering, but actually know how that person feels about you. This might not be immediate, but it should come fairly soon in a relationship that’s meant to last. When you are treated poorly, it’s not going to get better just because you stick with them.
4) Someone that continues to email or text rather than call is not a good sign. I feel if they don’t even make the effort to talk to me in person or hear my voice, they are lazy and not that interested in me.
5) Someone that has lied to me. If they lie to you once, it will probably happen again. Open, honest relationship is a must.
A healthy relationship with love and respect would never require you NOT to have boundaries. Try not to have someone’s behavior allow you to make exceptions to your boundaries. My boundaries are non-negotiable. Someone who cares about you, would not ask you or expect you to do something outside your normal behavior.