Okay, now you have been seeing the same person for a few months. He might be the funniest, brightest and easiest person to be with. You might possibly think this is what you have been searching for. You may find yourself with the same political beliefs, religious beliefs, and financial outlook.
This is exactly what you have been looking for, or is it? I realize there are always differences, but what are you really willing to settle on? In a previous blog, I discussed prioritizing your “must haves”. This still remains true even when you find your “soul mate”. I personally have experienced this. I call this being in enamored as opposed to being in love. I sincerely thought I loved everything about this person, but realized that he was not fulfilling my “must haves”. It is important to recognize this at the beginning of a new relationship before anyone gets hurt. We all have a tendency to give it a little more time to see what develops.
In my case, there were issues with a child that was still residing with him and would be for many years…well not so much a child but an adult child. I completely understood the situation and could empathize. This is somewhat of a deal breaker tor me. We also had differences on how often we liked to travel or go out. Even though we were similar on finances, I felt we differed in spending habits. I think we could have worked through these issues, except the elusive passion was just that. The passion being elusive is a deal breaker according to Mr Big.
Sometimes, I feel that it is better to recognize a friendship rather than trying to make that special relationship into something that it is not. Who is to say that you cannot have your soulmate (best friend) and date too? Is there really that one person that can satisfy all of your “must haves”. I think not, everyone in your life comes into your life for a reason. Sometimes I think single sixty somethings are a little too anxious to settle for less than the ideal. Can’t we have it all?