When to get off the internet

IMG_2335Dating on line has become an acceptable method to meet people. I find it interesting to read profiles and learn about available singles. The question is that when you meet someone and are dating with them regularly, is it cheating to read mail from other people?

I once met a woman on line and was dating her exclusively. One day she confronted me with the complaint that she had seen me on line several times on the same site where we met. She believed that the only reason I would be on the site was that I was obviously still looking for someone else.

I tried to explain that I receive a notification when someone has sent me a message and I am curious to read any mail. I was not sending messages to anyone and was not seeking to find other women to date.

There is a bit of hypocrisy at play here because she had to log on to the site herself to discover that I had visited the site. So she was either looking for another man to date or she was on line specifically to check up on me. Whether it is shopping or jealousy that was her motivation, it is more an issue of trust. She later told me that since she believed that I was there to meet other women she decided to chat with another guy and decided to go out on a date with him.

So this issue became a deal breaker for us. For her it was the possibility that I was trying to meet other women and for me it was the reality that she was actually dating someone else. We had not had a specific conversation about this topic prior to the breakup. We had talked about exclusivity concerning intimacy, but not discussed abstaining from reading messages. I do not believe it is necessary to remove your profile and ignore messages. If you mutually agree that you are in a monogamous long term relationship then trust should also be an important component.

Mr Big

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