Do you remember when dating and relationships were simple…whatever happened to those days? I was just discussing this with another over sixty single and we both have decided that relationships have actually become much more mysterious as we have aged. Somehow I expected by the time I reached sixty three that I would be a relationship expert…obviously, this is not the case!
When I was in my thirties relationships were fun…or maybe it is just my memory failing. Dating was easy, spontaneous, and I really did not consider the consequences. Not that I was ever daring or promiscuous, but I did not take dating so seriously. I enjoyed all (most) of my dating experiences and did not analyze every nuance. Dating was an adventure, an opportunity to meet new friends. If the relationship did not meet my expectations (or his), it just meant it was time to move on.
When I finally decided to take the marriage plunge (again) in my late thirties I expected for my single days be gone forever…yet again, life threw me a curve ball. I have been single (again) for three years now and quite honestly I am more than a little bewildered with the whole dating scene.
I have met some very nice men, I have had a few meaningful relationships that have not “worked out” but I have been able to maintain the friendship aspect. I am beginning to doubt the whole premise of “happy ever after”. I often find myself a little envious of long time married couples, even when I am quite aware that they are not actually happily married! The grass is always greener and I certainly do not want to marry again. I would like to find a significant long term relationship though, so what is stopping me?
Could it be that some of us over sixty singles are trying too hard while at the same time guarding our hearts from disappointment? I have been in committed relationships and known others in monogamous relationships that cannot murmur the L word. This is a word that all of us were exposed to since we were babies. I cannot understand how we could share the most intimate parts of our lives with someone and yet be unable to express our loving feelings.
In my experience, this phenomenon is not gender specific. Are we all so fearful of rejection or indifference that we deny our true feelings? Love should be one of the most powerful and beautiful emotions that any one of us can possibly express. Why is easy for us to profess our love for our dog or favorite sports team and not to our partner?
Open communication about feelings are imperative to any worthwhile relationship. I pledge to become a better communicator and still be true to myself.
I remain forever optimistic,