Don’t we all want it all? It is the absolute American dream. Advertising sets us up, the magazine ads, commercials, music videos portraying romantic, sexy and ideal relationships. Dating websites advertising these beautiful couples “finding” each other and “completing” each other’s life. We are bombarded by young, sexy couples on every commercial for resorts, the couple is beautiful…no wrinkles or cellulite to be found! I think as over sixty singles we should deal with our current reality.
The reality is that not one of us is getting any younger. Sure, there are cosmetic procedures available to pause the aging process. However, if we are so fortunate to reach our sixties, we should consider ourselves lucky to be alive and grateful for our health. Unfortunately, we do live a society that holds outward appearance in higher regard than wisdom or accomplishments. It is a well known fact that US citizens value the “elders” less than any other country. I admit to feeling the same way when I was a teenager, I thought I would rather die than ever be age 50. And now my bar continually rises…now I feel that eighty is the new fifty.
The reality as I check out the men on the on line dating websites, these men look too old for me! I still envision myself as the cute 30 year old that I was 30 years ago! How could I possibly want to date that old man? Then I look in the mirror and face the truth, when did I start looking so old? For most of, our self-image has not aged. Haven’t we all taken every precaution to remain youthful? I am similar to most women my age, I moisturize, use sunblock, exercise, diet and visit my skin care specialist. Sometimes I feel that trying to remain attractive can almost be a full time job!
Again the reality sets in, this is probably going to be as good as it gets appearance wise. It is doubtful that I am going to become more toned, weight less (I do not want to lose weight because I am ill…plus I need that additional 10 lbs as a cushion in case I am ill) and have less wrinkles. My waist will always be 2 inches larger than I like, I will probably always have my love handles…but in reality, I am thankful for my health, family and friends.
So what I generally tell all my over 60 single friends, do not be so quick to judge someone by their outward appearance. On line daters, read the profile first, then look at the photos. Most of us know more than one person who may not be conventionally attractive, but their inner beauty shines through. Although I am not diminishing the importance of physical attraction, inner beauty lasts much longer. I am looking for that diamond in the rough…
I do remain eternally optimistic,