The balance

IMG_0828Recently a friend asked me if I ever was impulsive, I thought it was a strange question so my immediate response was yes. But of course, the question started to bother me, why would any one ask me this? Do I not come across as someone that is impulsive? The definition of impulsive: doing things or tending to do things suddenly and without careful thought: acting or tending to act on impulse.

For years I was a disciplined, successful business woman with lots of responsibilities. I delayed vacations and gratification for the sake of my “success”.  I certainly was not impulsive those years,  I had no time for it!

Hindsight is aways 20/20, but I have been thinking over the past few days of how  life could have been more gratifying if I would have incorporated maybe a little bit of  impulsiveness and fun into my life then. Perhaps if both me and my ex would have concentrated on being carefree, traveling  and having fun, our marriage  might have lasted a lifetime instead of the 20 year run. I have no regrets about the past,  my only hope is to gain from this knowledge  for the future.

The future is now, I no longer have to be concerned about my business.  All of my hard work, planning and discipline  has paid off and I am enjoying retirement. I have been retired for almost two years now and I would not consider myself a spontaneous person, but  I would like to be.  We all have friends on either side of this, I have friends that are carefree, spontaneous and travel all the time. I also know people that are very conservative (and I am not referring to politics) and are planning for age 100, not really allowing themselves the joys of travel, fun or impulsiveness. I am not judging, it is definitely a personal preference. For me, there has to be a balance. We all should  be responsible and plan for the future but live every day like it is our last.

Why all this reflection?  Naturally,  the impulse question started this.  Also, my birthday is coming up in a few days and the sheer large number is enough to make anyone reflect on their future! I do not want to look back at my life 20 years from now and wish I would have been a little more carefree in my sixties. I do not want to have any regrets. Hence a resolution: I vow to have FUN, be carefree, travel and work on being  impulsive and spontaneous (within reason of course).   I will master the balance.

I remain forever optimistic,

Carrie

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